How to be a somebody
~ There are two kinds of people in this life
Those who walk into a room and say,
“Well, here I am!”
And those who walk in and say,
“Ah, there you are.” ~
Around every corner, we come across ads that claim to teach the “magical secrets of a successful social life”. Everyone of us out there have at least one copy of something like that in our bookshelf. Or at least once in our lifetime have hopefully read some article of that category. Everybody wishes to be a somebody in their lives.But to our disappointment, even though there are tons of self help tips to grab from the air, most of it ends up as some “To-do stuff”, hopelessly failing to instruct us HOW exactly we are supposed TO-DO it.
It says act confident… how exactly? … the book asks you to smile.. Big smile or a small one?
Deja vu? So you’ve been stranded on this island at some point in your life before..
Then keep reading… I will tell you HOW exactly , TO BE a Somebody with 6 helpful tips.
- Pearly Whites …. Let the smile flood in slowly
There are dozens of different types of smiles cataloged by scientists. Some smiles are warm, some are cold. Some are hearty and some are fake.
A contagious smile is the greatest weapon you can own. What you need to do is to ‘fine-tune your smile’. … Let’s do it slow
Among the sea of parting lips and flashing teeth, people who have the most credibility and integrity are the ones that smile ever so slowly. And that does not mean taking lots of time to seem happy or impressed. I will explain…
Don’t smile immediately when you meet a person. Look at the other person’s face for a second. Pause. —-Then let a big warm smile flood over your face and reach your eyes.
That split second delay lets know the other person that your smile is genuine and only for them.
Now that’s a smile… with a charm.
- Eye Magic
… They are the absolute tricksters.
Of course all of us have heard the importance of the good old Eye Contact magic. But strangely most of us overlook this simple and easy trick.
There are many benefits of owing seriousness to the importance of a solid ‘Eye-contact’, being implemented in your conversations with other people. In addition to growing feelings of respect and affection, maintaining eye contact gives you the impression of being intelligent and buys you more credibility and importance than ever before.
Imagine that your eyes are glued to your conversation partner’s. Don’t break eye contact even after he or she has finished speaking. Linger..
When you must look away, do it slowly and reluctantly. Your partner will feel that he/she has captivated you.
That does the job always ..
- Buddy buddy
… Make them feel like and old friend at once!
According to the famous American author and motivational speaker Zig Ziglar “People don’t care how much you know.. until they know how much you care about them”
The secret to making people like you is -~showing how much you like them! ~
For that use the ‘Old Buddy Technique’..
When meeting someone , imagine he or she is an old friend and that this meeting/convention/party brought you together after a long time. Imagine the happiness.
And holding that feeling inside will do the rest of the job.
You don’t even have to talk to them so. But the joyful feeling you imagined will set off a chain reaction in your body from the subconscious. It softens your eyebrows, make your eyes beaming, your smile hearty… your body language will automatically become sincere and friendly.
And everything in between clicks.
- Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive.
….. And Elim-i-nate the negative. Haven’t you heard the 1940’s song of the same title?
That’s what you have to do. You have got to Accentuate the Positive and Eliminate the Negative…
When you meet someone, lock your closet door and save your sad stories for later. No one likes to be with a person that surges negativity.
Many studies have demonstrated that even a forced smile can lift one’s mood! The only thing we risk when smiling is a giving ourselves a little more happiness. So take a deep breath and smile away!!
We can’t always control things that happen in our lives, but we can, with some effort, control what we think .Imagine that we’re already a positive person and we love life.
That positive energy inside you will spread to anyone you meet. No effort need be taken, just be happy and stay happy with life, and that makes people want to be with you.
And as the song goes “You got to spread joy up to the maximum.. Bring gloom down to the minimum”..
- Echo.. O…o…. Technique
… For the ripple effect.
Echoing is a simple linguistic technique that has huge potential.
Listen to the speakers arbitrary use of nouns, words, verbs, prepositions, adjectives-and echo them back.
Family members find themselves speaking alike. Friends use the same words, and associates in a company or members in a club talk alike. Each and every one you meet have his or her own language set that subconsciously distinguishes them from everyone else.
Hearing their words come out of your mouth creates a “subliminal rapport”. That means, with subconscious influence, it makes them feel like you share their values, attitudes, their interests and their experiences.
It is the linguistic device that says “We’re on the same Wavelength!! “.
And it works!!
- “What do I say next?”
….. No more of that.
Back to that frightfully familiar moment when it is your turn to speak and your mind goes blank?? Do not panic.. Be a parrot!!
I’ll explain. After a while, even your monosyllabic grunts of mhmm’s, ah ha’s n ohh’s won’t help your desperate attempts to bring back the dying conversation to life.
So, instead of signaling verbally or non-verbally that you “got it,” simply repeat or parrot-the last two or three words your companion said, in a sympathetic questioning tone. That throws the conversational ball right back in your partners court.
“ Yes it was a great show!”
Then the excited conversation buddy will obviously speak what he liked and disliked and voila a couple more minutes bought. People usually like to talk about what they like.
Now all you need to do is listen and be a parrot again if needed…
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